Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I love getting together with my family and a bunch of ingredients and laughing and joking and creating food as well as great memories.  This year was no different.  We got together at our youngest daughter's home and created a wonderful feast.  We had one food failure, that was the Brussels sprouts.  We had one food overage, that was the sweet potatoes.  We had delicious turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and stuffing.  We had good wine and great company.  The only thing missing was the chaos.  When the whole family is together, there is lots of noise, and talking, and laughing, and joking, and pushing, and shoving and a great time had by all.  We had a good time, but it was quiet.  We did turn our ingredients into good food, eat well, play games, go for a walk and enjoy ourselves.  Life is good. 

On the Midwifery front, I had several people who were due on the time I was to be out of town.  Sadly, every single one of them delivered without me.  They all had nice births.  I don't think I was missed at all.  This is a hard fact for my ego to absorb.  I'm sorry I missed the births.  I really love doing deliveries.  I'm not sorry at all that I had time with my family to have fun and to love life in a way that is unique to families.  I'm still working on the ego thing.

Induction of labor or to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

     I read an interesting bit of news this weekend that offers me some hope.  Minnesota has saddled practitioners with a ton of new paperwork for elective inductions prior to 39 weeks.  This is wonderful news.  I  believe that the body knows when/how to go into labor to get the baby out.  I know that we often buy trouble in a big way when we attempt to induce labor when the body is not ready.  Some examples of this are cesarean deliveries because the cervix will not dilate, or stress on the baby during the induction process;  long stays in the hospital as we force the cervix to soften and ripen (which lead to huge bills and tired families);  hard labors that are often more difficult for the birth mother to deal with; and babies that end up in the special care nursery as a result of being born too early or being stressed during the delivery. 
     I get pregnant women who come to care fussing because they are "so miserable".  They often asked to be induced so they can:  have their favorite practitioner deliver them, stop hurting, eat more, breathe easier, start to lose weight, start to gain weight, not be nauseated, have their Mother with them, get the baby out before hunting season, have the baby's father at the birth, not be in the hospital over someones birthday or the next holiday. . . you get the idea.  Each and every woman thinks that she has a valid and workable reason not to continue to be pregnant.  The problem is that this means making the body do something (give up the baby) before whatever universal powers there are, have decided that it is time to launch this new spirit into the world. 
     There are several issues at work here.  One is the practitioner belief that no one should have pain or be uncomfortable.  Not every practitioner has this belief, but those that do, use induction freely.  Two is the practitioner belief that if the pregnant woman expresses the belief that only one practitioner is capable of delivering the ideal birth experience for this woman, with this pregnancy.  Induction often ensues, because practitioners want to keep their clients happy and coming back to them for future pregnancies.  Practitioners also depend on referrals from happy clients.  If a practitioner doesn't provide the induction on demand, that is portrayed as a mark against the practitioner.  Three is the belief that with modern medicine the baby can be taken care of, no matter what the issues.  Even if we caused the problem with an early induction.  Truth be told, modern medicine does a moderately good job of taking care of the problems caused by early deliveries. This also contributes to the problem of induction on demand, because both the practitioner and the client begin to believe we are in control of birth.  We are not.  The new law in Minnesota doesn't say that a practitioner can't do an early induction, it just doesn't pay the practitioner if the paperwork for justification is not all filled out and submitted.  I hope this is the start of the pendulum swinging the other way, back to allowing nature to give baby a birthday, not the practitioner.

Huh?

I want to share some things that have been said to me in my professional capacity as a midwife.  These are from adults, people who are having babies. . .

• "I'm having contraptions, I don't know what to do."
• I'm pretty sure my atomic fluid is broke!" or "I've got that atomic fluid coming out."
• "I don't have sex when I'm pregnant, I don't want my baby's head to look like a golf ball."
• "When do I get my epidermal?"  (epidermis = skin/epidural = pain control in labor)
• "My pussy has a cold, there is green stuff coming out."
• "I'm nervous about you seeing my HooHa."
• "I haven't done any landscaping down there recently, I can't see."  (Yep, don't drive the mower, if you can't see.)
• "Is my baby liable?"  or "I thought this ultrasound was for liability."
• "I plan on medication in labor so I don't need childbirth education."
• "We are not taking childbirth education, because we don't believe in that public touch/feeley stuff."
• "After this baby comes, I want that tubal litigation."  or "I want that tubular so I don't get pregnant anymore."
• "Can Dad cut the biblical cord?"
• "I don't plan to breastfeed, because that makes it really hard to leave the baby."  (Why have a baby if you don't want to be with it?)

I'm sure there are more, I just can't think of them right now. 

An observation and attestation

When my life mate retired from the military, and it was my turn to choose where we lived, I chose a small town.  I liked the feel of meeting people you know where ever you go.  I liked the slower pace, the laid back attitudes and the over all more personal feel.  I actively looked for employment in a small town.  I didn't exclude big cities, they just weren't on the top of my list.  So it is no surprise that I got a job in a small town.  Which for the most part, I love.  However, one thing that is not discussed when talking about a small town is the fact that everyone knows every one's business.  My partner once took another woman to dinner, with my blessing (I was out of town).  It took only 4 days for me to hear about this when I returned to the area.  Because I work in the public eye and I have delivered lots of babies whose parents I see when I'm out, My grown children refuse to go out shopping with me because they think it takes 4 hours to purchase a gallon of milk.  My life mate just walks on and finishes the task at hand and waits for me in the car.  This kind of notoriety is both a blessing and a curse.  As long as everything is good and the general perception is that I'm a great provider then the talk about me is good.  The corollary to this is that if things are not happy and the general perception is that I have screwed up or lost my temper, or done a bad job then the talk is not so good.  In a big city this would not be an issue, because it is not a closed group of individuals.  In a small town, the impact of word of mouth is huge!  Now, I NEVER.Ever.Ever. go to work and say whose life can I mess up today, I really want to anger or frustrate someone today.  NO!! everyday I go to work to do the best job that I am capable of at that moment.  I love my job, I love what I do.  Sometimes, I get frustrated with the situations I am handed but  I always do the best that I am capable of at that moment.

Thinking

Sometimes, when I'm mostly rested, and have some time on my hands and the house is really quiet, I think about what it would be like to have littles in the house again.  I honestly do think about fostering, or adopting.  I.LOVE.MOTHERING!!!  I think about how I could work it so that I was still involved with littles, instead of the grown up versions.  I think about the noise and the chaos and the joy of discovery and learning.  I think about how proud I am of my littles who are now grown up and leading lives of their own.  I think I could do mothering littles again.  Then sanity takes over and I realize that I treasure my time with my partner.  I absolutely adore sleeping in.  I anticipate travel to far off places.  All these things taken into consideration, I'm pretty sure I'm right where I need to be at this time in my life.

Change is good

Fall has arrived and I put the flannel sheets on the bed yesterday.   When I crawled into the bed, I realized that I was really excited that it was cooler and we could use the flannel sheets.  Then I started thinking about change.  I realized that I really like it when the seasons change from the hot, hot summer to the cool fall and the leaves change colors and are so beautiful.  I realized that I really like it when the rains come and the sky is grey and soft and quiet and much of the time our home is in the clouds.  With further contemplation I realized that I also really like it when the sun is bright and shiny after grey, rainy days.  With further reflection I realized that I am charmed by the really cold clear nights when it looks like you can touch the stars, but I am comforted by the totally socked in nights when there is limited sound and light.  I also love the long, long days of summer, when the night seems to take forever to arrive.  I decided that change is good, and it is one mechanism to help us realize what an amazing world we share!  Life is good.