Baby steps

I am post op day 12 today. I can now walk without a limp (when not too tired); climb stairs alternating feet not using crutches or aides (can't go down without assistance yet); I have 85 degrees of flexion and almost complete extension. The residual rash from the anesthesia reaction is almost completely gone. I am feeling better each day. I am trying to work hard at my physical therapy but sometimes it is hard as it hurts. Now, intellectually, I realize that I have to work to stretch out the muscles and regain years of lost flexion and extension; however, emotionally I keep asking myself why I am causing myself pain. I have no good answer. Tomorrow I will go to a carry in lunch at the office after my physical therapy. Then of course it will be home for a nap, but then what can one expect.