Solo

I did get home yesterday. We did deliver operatively. Hmm - maybe 1500 births have taught me something (slight sarcasm). I have now been on call continuously 24/7 since 5/20/09 and now I remember how tired I was before I got a midwife partner. I will continue on call until 6/8/09. I am racking up the births, but my psyche is suffering. It is starting to not be fun any more. I am really seriously looking for something else I can do that will support me in the style to which I have become accustomed. I didn't think when I became a midwife that I would ever be able to live without doing births - it is such a wonderful high when they go well. Now, I know that not only could I live without doing births, I think after a while I wouldn't even miss it. O.K. maybe there would be some sadness occasionally. So here I am, back at the hospital for a mom who wants a water birth. she is so anxious to get delivered that she drank Castor oil. Now I know that Castor oil will cause contractions, but it does not always cause labor. So what happens is nausea, awful diarrhea, hard contractions and no cervical change. Serious misery for no birth. All the while, I tied in supporting what I consider stupidity. Given a chance the body works really well and the baby will come when it is time for the baby to come. Alas, I wait.