Breastfeeding Frustrations

In my life, personally and in my life professionally and academically every bit of information I have points to the fact that breastfeeding is the very best way to feed a newborn. If human women were not equipped to breastfeed from the first day of life, and human babies were unable to figure out how to breastfeed - I wouldn't be writing this because the human race would not have survived. So (rhetorically) how is it that now that we have bottles and formula babies can't/don't figure out how to grasp the nipple and suckle and Moms miraculously (note sarcasm) don't have milk? I get so frustrated with the nurses, the patients, the grandmothers, aunts, cousins, girlfriends and the pediatricians who quickly point out that if breastfeeding is "just too much" giving a bottle is an acceptable thing to do. Many of the Moms I take care of are young, idealistic, impressionable and initially want to breastfeed because it is best for the baby. They get started and find out that as THE MOM they actually have to put some effort into feeding their baby and all thoughts of breastfeeding go out of their brains AND they are completely supported, nudged, cajoled and bullied into feeling like formula feeding is really the best. When I do my education bit about breastfeeding being supply and demand and babies needing close contact (so they want to be at the breast all the time to feel safe) I am met with bewilderment that they would have to take their babies EVERYWHERE with them and actually hold them and suckle them wherever they are. I don't know how to reach these Moms and I am quite frankly frustrated.

Narcotics

Last weekend I had the weekend off, and it was my only weekend off for the next 3 weeks, as my Midwife partner has a daughter getting married and she took time off to be the Mother of the Bride. So, we went to the coast on Friday. We had a wonderful day with lots of walking, hiking, geo caching and finally a lovely dinner at a secret little place where you can sit on the cliffs above the ocean, out of the wind. When we were finished with our yummy dinner we decided to walk out to the point, just because we could. Now, we were in a state park that closes at 8p.m. so we were in a bit of a hurry, as we were pretty sure that the Ranger would be along to hustle us out of the park because it was 8p.m. We were laughing and being silly and I was not paying too much attention (obviously). I turned my ankle, flipped head over heals and ended up sliding down a small hill, in fairly serious pain. I got grass stains all over my clothes and once I had righted myself and butt crawled back up the hill we noted that my ankle was huge, and really, really colorful, almost immediately. Stu ran and got the car and helped me in and we visited the nearest ER to discover that I had broken my ankle. I got a boot to stabilize the foot/leg and crutches. I also got some super power ibuprofen and some narcotics. I took the ibuprofen. I actively choose NOT to take the narcotics and I did NOT fill the script for more narcotics that the ER doc gave me either. I was told not to weight bear, not to drive but to ice and elevate and see my orthopedic specialist. Back to Roseburg we came, arriving home about midnight and ruining a perfectly good weekend off, because there were still two more days of the weekend and it was obvious that I was not going to be doing anything fun.

The weekend finished and the week started, but I laid home with my foot in the air and ice intermittently on the ankle. No work on crutches, because I was not to weight bear or drive. Thursday finally came and we went to Eugene to see the ortho guy who said "everything is in great alignment. Start weight bearing and keep the boot on for the next 2 weeks and then wean out as the pain allows." Yea, hooray, I can walk (hobble) and return to work.

Friday comes and I have a labor at the hospital. I go in to the hospital early in the morning to be with my patient. It is a long, long day with lots of stress and walking around. I get really tired and my leg starts to hurt - a lot. One of the family members who is in my patient's room asks how I'm doing and I comment that my ankle hurts. Three visitors in the room pipe up and offer me NARCOTICS FROM THEIR PURSES. Three different types of narcotics from three different people. I.was.completely.taken.aback!! Now, Not Only am I at Work, but I am making life and death decisions about their loved one, not to mention that it is illegal to give your narcotics to other people . I was shocked beyond comprehension. I don't drink alcohol when I'm on call. I don't take narcotics if I can avoid it. Yet, narcotic use is so common place that these people have their narcotics in their purse while visiting at the hospital, and are willing to share!!!! Go figure!!!

Life in the fast lane!!

My midwife partner has been gone the last week and I have done 12 births. This is a lot (2/day). This is the number of births I was doing prior to her coming to be my partner. I find that it is difficult to separate myself from my work when there is that much going on at work. It is difficult to enjoy relaxing at home because I'm so darned tired that all I want to do is sleep. I know that I do get into my work and I focus on my work and I have a hard time switching hats back to that wife, home person who wants to do things with my life mate. When my midwifery life is crazy, I just want to sleep/rest/read/doze when I'm home because I know that pretty quick I'm going to get called to go be with someone for a birth. My personal life suffers. I don't like the push/pull tug-of-war that happens when my midwifery life over powers my personal life. Not sure what to do about this, but I'm pretty sure something needs to be done. Time will tell.

Gratitued

Last night I did a birth for a young woman. I had worked with her twice before for baby girls, this time it was a boy. They had decided that this would be their last. After the baby was born and had nursed, been bathed and the room cleaned. The big sisters came to the hospital with Grandpa to see their new baby brother. It was neat to see them hold the baby and interact with their new baby brother. There was joy and talking and laughing. Life was good. Then to top it off, Grandpa came up to me and gave me a big hug and said "Thank you for helping my daughter with her babies. I know this is the last grandchild we will have from her. You did a great job." I was so proud, I could have popped my buttons had I been wearing any. It was really nice to be recognized for my contribution to starting an awesome family.

Back to work

After a lovely vacay with the family in England and Scotland, I have returned to the land of the real. The good news is it has gone better than I expected. The bad news is that I still need to work. Our weather in Oregon has been no different than the weather abroad, rainy, windy, grey and interspersed with bits of sunshine. The office has been busy. I returned to find out that the computer in one of the exam rooms had died completely (hard drive failure) and so I have needed to carry in the lap top room to room. This works, except I need more battery power for the lap top than it has. By the end of the day - I have to carry the power cord and plug in. This is frustrating. So far, though, this has been my biggest frustration, and I'm O.K. with that. My midwife partner leaves tomorrow for vacation and she will be back in May - so it is a long stretch on call for me. Hopefully, I will not get too over tired, have terrible births, or deal with rude people.

Back across the pond and home again

Very, very, early, April 10th, Saturday morning (3:45a.m. UK time) we got up and Adam drove us to the airport in Manchester where we caught a flight to Amsterdam. In Amsterdam, we changed planes and flew to Portland where we caught a hop to Eugene from whence we drove home stopping only for a bit of dinner.

As I write this note, I am re-living the wonderful times we had with our family. We shared good times, talked about hard things and walked and walked and walked. We walked, on average, about 6 miles each day of the vacation. The kids aged 8,6,4, and of course 3 walked everywhere the adults did with essentially no complaining. I am so happy to have had the opportunity to share this bit of life with them. Olivia and I decided that we could readily live together in a commune and share more of our lives together. Adam and I talked about life after the Air Force. Stu and I talked about where we go from here and what else we want to accomplish in this life.

I chuckle about the language differences between English and American. While on the highway we stopped for a potty emergency and I took the kids in to the bathroom while Olivia got fuel. The door of the Women's room had a sign that read "operative on duty". I didn't know if I could go into the bathroom or not. I sure didn't have any state secrets to give up and was confused about the function of said operative. The sign, I find out, means that the rest room is being cleaned at the moment. I also discovered "jacket potatoes" which are potatoes baked in foil. I frequently saw signs on the round abouts that say "give way" which in America means yield. There were many more language bits which made me smile and think and I am reminded how fun it is to play with words.
For now we are home, tomorrow I start the day with a 7:30a.m. C-section and a full slate of patients. I'm already wishing I was back on vacation.

Leila's Birthday

From the moment we arrived in the UK, Leila told us that her birthday was April 9th and she would be 3 years old. She also informed us that we were having home made pizza for dinner. This means that the kids each get dough for a personal pizza which they roll out and they add their own toppings. She also said she wanted chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. So we had our work cut out for us especially since we would be in Scotland until the Thursday before her birthday.
We arrived back in Leeds late Thursday (April 8), exhausted and happy after our Scotland adventure. We made chocolate fondant - yes chocolate! so that it could sit all night and be ready to put on the birthday cake on Friday.
On Friday, we wrapped presents, we attempted to clean, sort, pick and put. We went to the market, baked a cake, mended and sewed. Friday afternoon the presents found their way into the living room while the kids were outside playing. Leila passed by and noticed the presents and came into the kitchen and told her Mom excitedly "My presents came!!" Like Olivia wouldn't know this already. We worked the chocolate fondant into a sheet and covered the chocolate cake that Olivia made. I spent the remainder of the time until dinner playing with the fondant and making hearts and roses to put on Leila's cake. The kids made their pizzas and the adults made their pizza and we had a delicious birthday dinner. Then Leila opened presents, the kids had cake and went to bed and a delightful birthday celebration was had by all.