Family, Fun, Feasting = Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful holiday. We were invited to our daughter's home for Thanksgiving and we took the 3 hour drive up to their home after I got off work on Wednesday. We took them out for dinner that night. On Thursday, we got up and got to it! We had much work to do and we all pitched in and created a wonderful feast! We enjoyed working together to create our feast and then enjoyed eating our feast. It was marvelous to be together and have a great time creating a feast. We did everything from scratch and it makes me so proud that I am able to pass that knowledge on to my children and that they were receptive to learning about the art of cooking and creating. We stuffed ourselves and then we went for a walk to settle our dinners. Upon our return home we had pie and conversation. Then it was off to bed as Friday was a high stress day! We shopped for wedding dress fabric and were successful with that. I'm so pleased with what she chose. She will be a beautiful bride. Friday evening we had left overs and then pie, port, and chocolate. Fat and Happy pretty much describes all of us. Saturday the party started to dissolve and people returned to their own homes. All in all it was a wonderful holiday and as usual there is much for me to be thankful for and I am reminded how very blessed I am with my family, my health, and my life.

On Call

I am on call this weekend and as usual behind in my paper charting. One of the items that never gets talked about in school the the overwhelming amount of charting that goes on for every patient. We document phone calls, we document in person visits, we document and document and document. It really gets old, because it takes time. My schedule is such that I am on call 2 days on, 2 days off, 3 days on (the weekend) then 2 days off, 2 days on, 3 days off (the weekend). Therefore, I am making an attempt to only bring stuff home to do every other weekend (the ones when I am on call). I always feel like I am just barely treading water to keep up. Alas, that is the way it goes - so back to charting.

Retirement?

I'm ready to retire. Now, the reality is that I will not be able to do this for a long time to come - probably 10 more years, but I am ready not to have to go to work every day. When I was off for my knee recovery, I thought I would go crazy, that did not happen. Instead, I did some work with photo shop. I sewed. I read. I got in shape physically and I got used to having my time dictated by my own timeline instead of punching the clock. Alas, I made a deal with my life mate and it is my 25 years to work, so retirement is absolutely out of the question. I really have it good. I love my work. I have a lot of autonomy. I think I'm good at what I do and except for the crazy hours it is pretty fun most of the time. I would love to travel, spend time with my kids and grand kids and generally lead an unfettered life. However, no work, no pay; no pay, no food, house, car, or clothing, so I think I have to go to work. I remind myself that I am fortunate that I have a job that challenges me both physically and mentally as well as emotionally. I am adequately rewarded for what I do (most of the time) and in times of economic distress, I am lucky to have a job.

On another note entirely, I love talking with my children and grand children. I talked with my daughter yesterday and my other daughter and some of my grandchildren today. It is always glorious to talk with them and find out what is going on and how their lives are progressing. They blog and I read their stories, but talking on the phone is so much more fun.

An under lying rumble

This year has been one that has been filled with lots of stuff. Nothing hugely bad or life changing, just a constant undercurrent of stress. In January I had my knee replaced and although this was an active choice, it was not without some fears and worries. The knee replacement went great and then came the recovery. I started in physical therapy my first day home after the surgery. Boy was I out of shape.

I missed work for 12 weeks. Now, I don't know where my head was when I took time off from work, but it obviously was not on my clients. There is a serious bond between the care giver and the pregnant woman and when you are not there for 12 weeks the bond goes by the wayside and the pregnant women turn their allegiance to the person who is there. The result of this is that my census dropped off dramatically. I had some serious mental adjusting to do when I got back to the office because everyone did NOT want me to do their deliveries. I managed to wrap my head around that and get straightened out and continue on with work and begin to build up my census again. During this time I was served with papers from a former client and discovered that I am being sued. What a drag. I got thru 6 months of recovery and physical therapy and was feeling pretty good about life with the exception of the law suit.

Then it was my birthday and my purse was stolen while we were walking on the beach. Then there was all the chaos that goes with re-establishing one's identity while monitoring to be sure that no one else is trying to become me. That is on going, but at least we have credit cards again.

Last weekend was hectic at the hospital and I did 9 deliveries in one weekend. It was like the bad old days before I had a midwife partner.

This weekend was my weekend off call and so I procrastinated about doing my stuff and Sunday came. I got up and worked out and then my partner and I walked down the hill to pick up the Sunday paper and when we returned one of our old trees had lost a giant limb and it had fallen across the deer fence, crushing it. Now, we own a chain saw but on this occasion we could not get it to work. We sawed and sawed and sawed by hand and made some progress but were no where near getting the tree off the fence when a neighbor from up the hill a ways drove by and stated that he had a chain saw that we could use. He went home and brought his saw down and in just a matter of under an hour the fence was freed and we were able to tack it back up to keep the deer out of our garden.

Then it was into the house for a shower and work, except I didn't really feel like working and so was not very productive. So as I look back over the past year I see that there has been a constant rumble. Nothing that makes me say life sucks, but I am surely aware that I need to be positive, functional, and up beat because if I am not I could easily get overwhelmed.

I've been robbed!!!!!

I turned 55 this month and my partner and I went to the coast for a get away weekend of camping and walking on the beach. We drove the 2-1/2 hours to the campground we picked, paid our fee, set up our tent and headed for a walk on the beach. This is a beach we have visited before and love because of the surf on the rocks and the sand. We parked the car, I got out my camera and clipped it to my belt loop. We put my purse in the trunk and locked the car. Off we went for a walk on the beach. We walked and talked for a while generally enjoying the peace of the ocean sounds and the company of one another. We don't get away too often because of my job so when we have a chance, it is really special. This was a premier weekend because it was my 55th birthday. We walked and talked and it started to get cool so we headed back to the parking lot and the car to get more clothes and our picnic dinner. As we came up the stairs we saw the car and my thought was "Did I leave my window open? What a ding dong." My partner said "Shit, someone has broken into our car." He was right on. They busted out the front passenger window. Now the interesting thing is that they didn't ran sack the whole car. They took my bag from the floor of the front seat - it contained my current hand work project (knitting) two extra skeins of yarn and several crochet hooks. They briefly looked into the glove compartment (this I know because the wind up emergency flash light was in the floor). They popped the trunk from the inside and took my purse. That is it. They left the wine, the geocacheing bag and accessories (thank goodness), the rest of the camping gear, etc. So we drive up the coast to the next little town and ask for the police department and are told that there isn't one in town that I will need to call the county sheriff. I get the number and do this. The sheriff's office tells me that they don't answer those calls that I need to talk with the state patrol. So, I call the state patrol and get a very polite officer who tells me that they will send some paperwork to my home for me to fill out and send back. She also informs me that this happens all the time and I need to be sure to cancel all my credit cards and notify everyone of the theft. Great!! This is not an easy task, because of course my cell phone is in my purse, as is my cash (and everything else)! I start to try and reconstruct the contents of my purse. We start calling credit card companies and canceling cards - it gets dark and subsequently cold. We get cold. We feel sick. We call every card I can think of. We go back to the campground, break camp, load the car and drive the 2-1/2 hours home. We get on the computer and do more checking. I am now truly mortified. I have given away (by virtue of the fact that the thief has the contents of my purse) my life and livelihood. The thief has my address, my phone number, my social security number, my children's names and information, my professional affiliations and licenses, etc, etc, etc. So now a new crisis evolves - that of attempting to stop identity theft. I also have to have the window on my car replaced. My credit cards re-issued. I must also continually be on guard now for someone who wants to become me or at least get loans, purchase goods, or establish credit for which I will be expected to pick up the tab. I also have to be concerned about leaving my home unattended. This truly sucks. I am saddened by the fact that my fellow travelers in this universe feel that robbery is OK. I am upset at myself for taking my purse on a camping trip. I am generally frustrated and sickened.

It sure is quiet here.

We had a wonderful visit with our children and grandchildren and now our home is so very quiet. Our oldest daughter and her 4 children arrived on August 5th to spend 3 weeks with us. Her husband arrived later and spent a week with us. Our youngest daughter and her partner spent the first two weekends of THE VISIT with us and we spent the third weekend of THE VISIT with them at their home near Portland. We had a wild time mixed with days of work for me when I would really rather have been with them. We had great insights from the kids. We had the therapy of family togetherness. We managed to sew a fitting bodice for the upcoming wedding of our youngest daughter. We managed to make jam. We laughed, joked and were generally boisterous and loud. We played games, drank some wine, and decided that the world would totally be a better place if only everyone would do things our way. I delivered some babies. I did some prenatal care. I solved other people’s problems and wished I was home with the kids. Now, everyone is back to their respective homes, the laundry is done, the toys are mostly put away, and our home is sure quiet. I am already looking forward to May, 2009 and the wedding because then everyone will be together again. I hope we don't have to wait that long, but it is a possibility. I'm thinking chaos is a good thing.

Moving on

My solution for dealing with stress and stressors in life has always been to move. Yes, to physically pick up and leave one area and travel to another area. This was facilitated by the fact that my husband was in the military, so we moved a lot. Now he is retired and we have been in the same place for 9 years and I am thinking it is time to move, and move on. It is such a mixed deal for me because on the one hand I really love what I do. On the other hand there are things about my situation that drive me crazy. My ideal solution would be to move someplace new and reinvent myself thus leaving all my stress behind and of course taking on a bunch of new stress in the process. I'm not sure that this is a sane idea, nor one that I'll act on, but it sure looks attractive right now. Of course, it would mean leaving the house we built and the yard we are working on. It would also mean we had to pick a new place to live and I would have to find a new job. I'm pretty sure that there are not many jobs as good as the one I have right now, even if it frustrates the heck out of me sometimes. I guess I better just stay put, but the inclination to move is there and strong.